I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize