I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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