I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
