all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
