i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
