these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There was a lot of him and a little penis
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
