My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize