Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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