I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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