i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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