Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
