I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
