is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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