Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
