i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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