You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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