its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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