My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my being single is dangerous.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
