I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize