I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
