I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
they call him Oral-B. enough said
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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