I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
