did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
worst night to have a conscience
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
