Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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