I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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