Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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