She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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