I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
