Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
