the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
