i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
