Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
