I wish i was in the wii world.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Pooping to opera.
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