You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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