frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
