So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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