I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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