yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
