First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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