You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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