He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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