just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize