Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
