third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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