so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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