I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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