I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
