I'm so fucking centered right now
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
