dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
