first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
