I'm really into asian looking animals
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
