I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
