It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
