I puked a lego.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
