we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
