I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
