the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
