its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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