Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she pinky promised me she was 18
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
