I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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