I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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