he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
