Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
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