i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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