You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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