whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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