She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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