Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
